The Boys of Fall

Alton Widenhouse 1953

I can smell football season starting to arrive.  Some call it Fall, some call it Autumn, but for me it's always been football season. 

I love the sport, but hate what has been done to it by the "professionals." 

It's no longer a game to teach normal American boys character, competition and sportsmanship but a game for giants and mindless brute strength.

I'll be watching our local high school games.

Carson McLean 1953

You can have your college and NFL games.

I hope your thugs beat the other team's thugs.

My thanks to R.L. Clark who found this on the internet:

Wayfron P. Jackson:

6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years.

Loves rap music. Demands a mini-cassette in his helmet..

Currently holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron can print his complete name.

Signed with Tennessee

Quinticious Jenkins:

6' 3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C.

Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.

Signed with Mississippi State.

Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell:

6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back.. From Tyler, Texas.

Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well.

Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick."

Signed with the University of Houston.

Woodrow Lee Washington:

6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.

Mother claims Woodrow and child No. 9 have same father.

He has a manslaughter trial pending, but feels he will be found innocent because: "The dude said sumpin' bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20/20.

Signed with the University of Texas.

Willie "Night Train" Smith:

6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 24 years old.

Thinks the "N" on Nebraska 's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements....

Insists on wearing No. 32 jersey since it matches his score on his SAT's.

Signed with the University of Oregon.

Tyrone "Python" Peoples:

6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.

Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but was also willing to sign with us. Likes wild women and red Cadillac's.

Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.

Signed with University of Miami.

Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali:

6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the name Sylvester Lee Jones until he discovered religion.

Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville, Fl.

Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words, either.)

Signed with the University of Florida.

Note: College track coaches intend to use several of the above signees in their track programs. However, instead of using a starting pistol at track meets, the NCAA has now agreed to use a burglar alarm.

PS.....Next time you hear the Washington Redskins Song, "Hail to the Redskins"........notice that the notes are the very same as  "Yes Jesus Loves Me."

-Ed